These Times

Costume confusion: Halloween tales untombed

Kirk Ericson | Oct 31, 20240

When I was about 6 years old, my mother presented me with the Halloween costume she put together for me. It was a white shirt, a white apron and a tall white hat. And a pillow.

“What is this?” I likely asked.

“You’re going to be a French chef,” she likely said.

“French chef” didn’t sound scary, or look scary, but what did I know?

I went trick-or-treating that evening with the other kids in our suburban Spokane neighborhood, kids who were dressed as monsters or cartoon characters or vampires or witches or ghosts. The pillow that was secured by a belt, designed to make me look fat like a fat French chef, slipping down to my knees, so I spent the evening holding the candy bag in one hand and keeping my pillow in place with the other, all while carrying my identity baggage.

“And what are you dressed as?” I remember adults at doors asking each of us.

After getting blank reactions to “I’m a French chef,” I might have eventually told the adults, “I’m nothing.”

I sent an email to about 20 column readers last week asking them to provide a Halloween costume story. Five responded, and all five had a common thread: Their costume caused confusion, just as the French chef did.

■■■

Theresa Murray Biggs, Shelton: I was living in LA County, Southern California, 1983 — 20 at the time. A girlfriend and I were going to a Halloween party at the Troubadour. She had just introduced me to the world of heavy metal, and a band I liked, WITCH, was in the lineup of bands playing. I had a crush on the lead singer. My friend (who looked like a female Steven Tyler) spent weeks sewing a very cool mermaid costume. The day of the party, I finally decided to go as a baby. We worked at a department store, so I sewed six cloth diapers together to make a diaper for myself, with diaper pins. I wore nylons underneath, of course, a white T-shirt with a baby rattle around my neck and I carried a bottle. At 20, I looked 15 or so, and I was not prepared for the reaction. My friend was so mad because all the bands were into the “baby” look — either someone dressed as the band KISS, or KISS themselves, walked by and patted my head, saying I was a cute little baby. The lead singer I liked wanted to take me home and put me to bed. (Of course, I didn’t go!) Some comments were even more risqué, and it was my introduction to the craziness of the rock ’n’ roll world. I was pretty naive and innocent at heart so it was a rude awakening for me. But what a memory (and I have never dressed as a baby since!)

■■■

Brad, Wiesbaden, Germany: When my son [Oliver] was 4 years old, he wanted to be a “dancing banana ghost excavator” for Halloween. We got him a banana suit, put a sheet over his head that covered only his head, and I made him an excavator built out of cardboard boxes. When he learned the excavator would not in fact actually dig holes, he ditched the excavator and trick-or-treated as a dancing banana ghost. By the end of the night, he was so tired of explaining what he was, he would tell neighbors, “I am just a regular banana.”

■■■

Darrell Barker, Shelton: In my mid-20s, I wore a mask of President Ronald Reagan on Halloween day, saying “Well, there ya go again” in reference to his televised presidential debate. I visited clients’ offices, the post office, a grocery store, and stupidly, later that day, I walked into my bank. Typically, the bank tellers would see me and say, “morning Darrell,” but this time they were tense and hesitant. But when I said, “Well, there ya go again,” they let out a sigh and said: “It’s OK officer, it’s Darrell.” Standing feet behind me was a policeman ready to take me down.

■■■

Adi P., Thurston County: When I was 8 years old, I didn’t want to decide on a Halloween costume. There were too many options to choose from, and none were perfect. So I went for the next best thing, and I combined all of my ideas into one bad idea, and I was a Vampire-Fairy-Witch-Princess. I begged my parents to buy me those fangs you put on just your canines, fake blood and shimmery black wings. Nobody knew what I was supposed to be, and by the end of the night I just wanted people to stop asking about it.

■■■

Jeannine Daggett, Shelton: Although no particular Halloween costume lights up in my mind, I do hazily remember one specific Halloween. I was 10 years old and my family had just moved to Stillwater, Minnesota. My mom helped the four of us kids with our costumes for about an hour getting ready. But — it snowed that day. And it snowed some more. And more. And more. By evening when we were all set to go trick-or-treating, it was VERY COLD and the dumping of snow came up to my knees. My mom said we shouldn’t go trick-or-treating, but we were all set and excited to go. Our jackets, scarves, hats, and boots covered our entire costumes. We determinedly trudged through the storm going door to door. Every person answering our knock was shocked that we were trick-or-treating in “the weather” and asked with a chuckle, “What are you? I can’t really tell!”