These Times

Random thoughts for a day in July

Kirk Ericson | Jul 04, 20240

I was in the grocery store last weekend when I stepped and slipped on a strawberry on the floor next to the checkout counter. I went down in an instant, landing on my right knee. As I took a moment to gather myself before rising, I came eye to eye with a youngster, maybe 2 years old, standing a couple of feet in front of me. Her shirt, face and hands were smeared with strawberry goo, and she had a full strawberry in her hand. I looked into her eyes, she into mine, and I suspected the following thought was in her mind: “There’s no way you’re pinning this one on me mister.”

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I don’t like seeing humans driving driverless cars. It’s just another example of humans taking jobs from hard-working robots.

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I predict the next big thing for baby boomers will be selecting songs they want played on their deathbeds. They’ll share their song lists on Facebook, get into arguments with others about the value of a particular song, and bore their children and grandchildren with stories about how music was so much better in their day.

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Taking photographs of loved ones is our vain attempt to suspend time, the one thing we can’t stop.

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Mrs. Ericson recently had to order a new credit card because it stopped working. She called the credit card company, and the fellow who answered said she’d have to answer a security question to verify her identity. The question was, “What’s the first name of your mother-in-law’s grandfather?” “I have no idea,” she said. She looked at me, but I didn’t know either. After two more security questions she didn’t know, it turned out we were being asked security questions from somebody else’s account. But here’s the question: How many people in this country know the first name of their mother-in-law’s grandfather? Do you?

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A relative of mine recently turned 13, and I asked him how it felt to be a teenager. “Not great. It was a lot easier being a kid.”

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Many Democrats were demoralized by President Joe Biden’s fumbling debate performance against former President Donald Trump last week. Many Republicans, meanwhile, were cheered not only by Biden’s struggles but by Trump’s superior stamina as vigorously and effectively displayed the brazenness of a berry-covered 2-year-old who won’t cop to dropping that strawberry.

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Slugs have a potent defense against attack. Their superpower is to look totally disgusting to every other living thing.

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I was walking along University Avenue in Seattle last Thursday at midnight when we came across a guy talking to himself. He sat all by his lonesome on the sidewalk, leaning against the wall of a convenience store. As we neared, I could hear that his self-conversation was roughly about astrophysics. As I got within a couple of steps, he clearly said, “Parallel universes eventually intersect.” Ten steps after we passed, I heard him yell, again only to himself, “Don’t kiss me. I said, don’t kiss me. Don’t kiss me.” This could be considered an example of having a wide-ranging conversation with oneself.

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I recently mentioned to a friend that one of my sons had contracted COVID.

“19?” he asked immediately.

That was the best laugh I had that day.

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The satisfaction gained by completing a hard accomplishment is more intoxicating and animating than any drug.

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I was 7 or 8 years old, shopping with my father at the Crescent store in Spokane. My father bought something a little pricey, and as we walked away from the checkout counter, he told me, “You get what you pay for.” I was confused. I had thought that’s how all transactions involving money worked.