THESE TIMES

An adventure — kind of — on the living room rug

Kirk Ericson | Jan 25, 20240

This is a story about how to improve your body’s existence. All you need is a floor and a rug. And a wall.

I received an email last week from Nils Marcks von Wurtemberg, a friend a few years older than me. He lives in Sweden.

His email reported his latest adventure … and its aftermath:

“We have minus 13.5 degrees Celsius today in Stockholm. Tomorrow it will be colder. … Last Sunday I skated 40 km on the Baltic Sea with my long ice skates on quite soft ice, which was awful. I have never been so tired in my whole life. Took me three days to recover. If the ice had been hard and if the wind had come from behind it would have been easy … Today I helped Helena and her husband Gustav take care of their daughters Lily and Niki. I am exhausted. For the moment I am sitting at my kitchen table with a (small) whisky waiting for Emma to come home from her job and maybe with ideas what to eat.”

Nils’ Baltic Sea tale lodged in my brain, where it made the acquaintance of another story lodged in my brain.

I heard a report on the radio a few months ago about recent findings from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention regarding falling and death. Here’s the gist: “Unintentional falls are the leading cause of injury and deaths from injury among adults aged ≥65 years (older adults).”

First, “unintentional falls?” What are intentional falls? Falling into position to make a snow angel? Falling on a grenade?

Second, the CDC said one of the best ways to prevent death by fall is by increasing one’s flexibility. “The best way to maintain flexibility,” according to the CDC, “is to stretch regularly, at least once a day.”

Like many Western Washingtonians, I’ve been a blob in January. I’ve been on just one or two walks, shot some free throws, played a little pingpong. That’s it. And no stretching.

If I could just combine stretching with something that required the duration and persistence of Nils’ skating adventure … if only … and if only I could do it inside our home, where it’s not 7 degrees, and have it not involve ice skating on the Baltic Sea …

The brain spit out this idea: Stretch for seven straight hours.

The plan was to start at 7 on Sunday morning and finish at 2, with five minutes off at the top of each hour. The stretching would not be burdened by numbers. I’d do whatever stretch or exercise I wanted at any moment, for as long as I wanted.

One positive effect of this experiment, I figured, would be if you can stretch for seven hours, you should feel seven times better than stretching for one hour. And, if you stretch for seven hours in one day, you wouldn’t have to stretch again for seven days. You’d have all those hours of stretches in the bank.

It’s the same theory as having one glass of red wine: If one glass a day is good, seven glasses a day should be seven times better.

The stretches were mostly ones I’ve learned since starting yoga in 2008. Those yoga motions, over the seven hours, led my body to summon stretches learned from kung fu and ballet classes I took in the 20th century, and random calisthenics, including arm circles, toe raises, putting your back against a wall with your thighs parallel to the floor, headstands, jumping jacks. I made up stretches along the way, too.

I finished the seven hours. I skated on the Baltic Sea. It was tedious, except for when it hurt, including trying to eliminate aches in my left shoulder and right knee, and tightness in my left hip.

The next day, I felt like a king with a stable grip on power. I got out of bed with alacrity and purpose, which is rare. I took the stairs without thinking, “don’t trip.” I put socks and shoes on while balancing on the opposite foot, with nary a shimmy in the standing leg. I rose from chairs and the couch without arm aid and without saying “umph.” I was able to easily reach into the back seat of the car, while driving, to grab a hand towel. My gait was steadier. My footfalls brimmed with confidence.

I had no aches where the aches once were. It was the opposite of the line by the musician and poet Leonard Cohen: “I ache in the places I used to play.” Every muscle and joint in my body seemed in concert, each playing the proper note at the proper moment.

Tuesday morning, I chatted with Amelia, a yoga instructor who I’ve taken classes from. I was curious whether she’s ever stretched for an extended period.

No. The longest she said she’s gone is four hours, during her yoga training, but that’s a strenuous and exhausting four hours. I couldn’t do an hour of that kind of stretching.

Amelia, who is 47 and has been practicing yoga for 30 years, was immediately curious how I felt two days after my stretch-a-thon.

“Fantastic,” I replied.

“Huh,” she said. “Today would be the day you should be super sore.”

A few words of caution: Stretching results may vary, and don’t bother consulting your doctor, or any other doctor, about stretching.

It’s hard to overdo stretching.