THESE TIMES

Random thoughts for January 2024

Kirk Ericson | Jan 04, 20240

The world is getting worse and better, and it’s all happening at the same time.

Don’t generalize. Generalizing is always bad.

The odor of a banana makes honeybees want to sting you, according to an interview with a North Mason beekeeper that ran in the Dec. 14 edition of the Journal. So … that’s one more thing you must keep in mind as you go about this hard and complicated life: Never attack a beehive with a banana.

When dogs and cats suddenly find themselves in the middle of a sunbeam while lying around the house, their next thought often seems to be, “This is a good time to start licking myself!”

Here’s a December greeting that covers all the bases: “Merry or Happy Whatever!”

Based on driving traits, vehicle choice and bumper stickers, people who have tinted driver’s windows might not be my kind of people.

It’s highly unlikely that any girlfriend in the history of the world has knitted a sweater for her partner out of pure spite.

A word that is overused these days is “community.” Its use started several years ago — and with good intentions — to describe people who shared a history of discrimination, such as the Black community, the Native American community and the trans community. Then people got carried away, as they do, attaching it to groups who share an interest, but not a history of being discriminated against. I keep a list of instances where I see “community” used cavalierly. Here are four of my favorites from last year: “the insecure community,” “the mermaid community,” “the vulnerable community” and “the pizza community.” And one use of community that you’ll never see? “The white community.”

The older you get, the more likely you are to run into acquaintances who are waiting in line at the pharmacy.

Some more signs of being old: When you’re walking down stairs, you are intensely conscious that you’re walking down stairs, while you silently repeat, “Do not fall.” One more old thing: When you’re old, the time between thinking you have to go the bathroom and needing to go the bathroom becomes a lot shorter.

OK, two more: Old people seem comfortable saying “I’m getting older,” but not “I’m old,” and you’re driving on the freeway in the HOV lane with your left turn signal on.

We’ve had several presidents in our nation’s history who were prodigious liars, but we’ve maybe had only two who were prodigious truth-tellers: Abraham Lincoln and Jimmy Carter.

The Boston Massacre happened March 5, 1770, and it became a moment that motivated colonists to revolt against the British occupiers. Five people were shot dead that March day in 1770, and history now remembers it as a massacre. Isn’t that quaint? When five people are gunned down in America these days, it’s known as just another day.

Something you should do before you absolutely need it: Figure out who you’ll call from the holding tank in jail to bail you out if you get arrested. It’s a mental insurance policy.

If you drive an electric car, has it ever shocked you? When you were looking to buy the car, did you experience sticker shock? Do you have family members who were shocked that you spent that much money on a new car?

Many humans are not user-friendly.

All my epiphanies have been minor.

Here’s a phrase that has crept into a lot of people’s speech these days: Someone makes an observation during a conversation, and the listener replies, “I know, right?” It’s an odd conversational quirk.