Random thoughts for a rainy winter day

Kirk Ericson | Dec 29, 20220

Chickens could make a compelling argument that the War on Chickens is real.

Last week’s ice storm made it clear that for civilization to function, traction is essential.

The carrot-and-stick style of persuasion doesn’t work with everyone, especially masochists who hate carrots.

All lyrics in country music can be reduced to this: “Love ain’t what I thought it would be.”

The best way to find the inspiration required to complete a creative endeavor is to have just three hours to get it done.

Now that China is busy coping with a crippling onslaught of COVID cases, it might be a good time for Taiwan to invade.

If U.S. Rep. Kevin McCarthy, R-California, becomes speaker of the House, he’ll be the highest-ranking white man in the chamber. It’ll be Kevin, representin’.

Idea for script on a Hallmark Valentine’s card: “I am vengeance, I am death, I am the woman who loves you best. Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Few things are sadder than a dropped ice cream cone. Well … war is sadder, and so is poverty and cancer. But to a 4-year-old, a dropped ice cream cone is pretty,

pretty sad.

Women panic more than men, mostly because men give them reason to panic.

Since Facebook changed its name to Meta, young people don’t seem to be using the phrase “That’s so meta” as much.

I’ve never been to a tailgate party or anything remotely similar to that, like an orgy.

Don’t ask a married man with kids what he’s doing for the weekend. He probably hasn’t been told yet.

In August 2013, in Memphis, Tennessee, I visited Graceland, where I spoke with a Black woman whose job was to ensure that visitors didn’t wander into off-limits areas in the house. I asked her what questions people commonly asked on the tour. The most common question, she said, was, “Is that the toilet Elvis died on?” Second was, “How much did Elvis weigh when he died?” And third was a question she said her mother asked her daily when she got home from working at Graceland: “How many Black people did you get today?” The point was, the adoration of Elvis is mostly a white thing.

My favorite age in life was 4. I didn’t have to go to school, I spent most of my days playing and I never had the following thought enter my head: “I’m wasting my time. I should be doing something more productive.”

Four keys to creating art: Observe intently. Take risks. Persevere. Recognize patterns.

A friend recently decided to tweak his lifestyle a bit, so he put a racquetball in his back pocket.

In the South, it’s pronounced “thank-yew,” not “thank-you.”

If you have plaque on your teeth, are you more likely to have plaque in your veins?

What does math calculus and dental calculus have in common?

They’re both hard.

True story: Until the dental hygienist who cleans my teeth stood up, I didn’t recognize her as she sat next to the receptionist in the dental office. When the hygienist stood, I said, “Oh, I didn’t recognize you sitting down. I’m sorry.” Then she said that happens to her a lot — people not recognizing her while she’s sitting — because she has exceptionally long legs and a short torso. When she sits, she looks like she could be 5-foot-5, but when she stands, she becomes the 5-foot-11 person she really is.