Random thoughts for a day in March

Kirk Ericson | Mar 10, 20220

Was it Bruce Jenner or Caitlyn Jenner who won the decathlon at the 1976 Summer Olympics?

You can’t really be a lifelong resident of a place until you die there.

Here’s a trait of some recently retired workers: They take the long route to rooms in their homes because it buys them some time before they have to figure out what to do next.

It might be better to have pretension than hypertension.

When did the phrase a “results-oriented person” become a workplace cliche?

We overhear and we oversee, but do people oversmell?

Just because you’re angry doesn’t mean you’re right.

Surgeons wear masks for two reasons: One, to avoid inhaling or exhaling any contaminants while they’re operating on patients, and two, so patients can’t identify them in court if they’re sued for malpractice.

I’ve come up with my first clue for a crossword puzzle: A girl in class. Four letters. (Answer at the bottom of column.)

Here are suggestions for some new crimes: First-degree shenanigans. Premediated horseplay. Wanton mischief.

We have too many pluses: Disney+, ESPN+, CNN+, AppleTV+, Paramount+ and Discovery+. Some hedge fund will eventually swoop in and own all those pluses, and the new corporation will be PLUS+.

Here’s a conspiracy theory I invented: The governors of Texas and Florida are unwitting members of the Deep State and are pawns in a covert operation against a certain former president and his supporters. Democrats indoctrinated those two GOP governors as children so they could be unleashed as adults when George Soros, Bill Gates and Anthony Fauci finally manufactured the virus that causes COVID-19. Stay with me here. Democrats wanted those two governors in place in two of our three most-populous states so those governors could urge Republican voters to refuse a life-saving vaccine, thus increasing their likelihood of dying. It’s so obvious. Ask yourself: “Who benefits from Republicans dying at a much higher rate from the coronavirus than Democrats?” Soros, Gates and Fauci, that’s who!

Overseen at SeaTac Airport last autumn: A woman who looked to be in her mid-30s is standing in line at a Dilletante Coffee stand. Blond highlights streak her tousled hair, she wears a pair of shiny new Nike shoes and yoga pants, and the strap of her fancy-schmancy shopping bag hangs from her elbow crease. She orders a big hot chocolate. A few seconds pass before she asks the barista how many scoops of chocolate that has. “Five,” the barista says. “Could you make it three scoops?” she quickly responds. The barista responds: “Sure.” A few seconds go by. “Actually, you know what?” the woman asks. “I need that to be 2½ scoops, OK?”

A teenager was taking my breakfast order at a diner recently. He kept addressing me as sir, even after I told him he didn’t need to call me sir so much. But he kept it up, so I started calling him sir, which made him call me sir more. Soon enough, we were both using the word “sir” multiple times in single sentences. The food was good though.

Atheists and agnostics are more likely to drive Teslas than Ford-150s.

These people who pride themselves on not being sheep sure do a lot of bleating.

Crossword clue answer: Lass.

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